…just say it! 

After my little bedtime break-down last week, I was in desperate need of a good old mummy moan. Luckily for me, I have some beautiful friends who aren’t afraid to tell me what I need to hear…

The truth!

Be it the truth that what we are going through is normal or that they’ve been through it too. It could be something that’s hard to hear, but something I have to hear. Never cruel and always said with nothing but good intentions.

Just saying out loud the issues I was having and my feelings around them was cathartic in itself. Had my friends sympathized with me and nothing more, I would still have felt better but not for long. Nothing would have changed for me. The simple act of them telling me what I needed, not wanted, to hear made me own my shit. Forced me to look at the situation and make a change.
I felt ready to face it all again. Renewed by the truth, I found myself reset. Back to feeling how I used to feel…that I knew what I was doing! That it didn’t matter what anyone else did or thought. I felt like I’d got my control back. 

As bedtime crept closer, I remembered what they’d said. The truth I’d heard. I knew what I needed to be for my son and I did it. 

I’m not saying that it was all a perfect, delightful experience but I can say that the frustration, upset and general uselessness I’d begun to associate with that time of day had gone. That’s good enough for me!

So, moral of the tale? 

Talking is great. Listening is vital. 

Truth is essential. 

If someone comes to you in need. If someone tells you they are having a problem. Don’t be afraid to tell them the truth. You don’t have to be harsh. It doesn’t have to hurt. Tea and sympathy is amazing but, when the time is right, just say it. 

We all need to hear it ❤ 

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…I f#$king hate bedtime!


I wish I was writing this from a place of quiet reflection after battling with a little ball of utter frustration but I’m just not there yet. Not even close and I need to vent! 

I’m sure it isn’t just me but my kid is broken! 11 weeks…sleeping through the night and yeah, I’ll admit, I was feeling pretty pleased with myself. Didn’t have to do anything, he just did it. Now…like I said, he’s broken and I’ve lost the receipt!

Husband’s advice, ‘chill the f$*k out’. Good advice. You know why he’s taking an hour to go to sleep. Because he’s not tired. He’s not ready. So what? We relax together until he is. You know why my patience tank is empty by bedtime. Because I’ve been totally ignoring the swarm of philosophical and self-care mantras that fill my, ironically named, ‘things to remember’ Pinterest board. 

Instagramming and feeling Zen for 5 minutes does not a balanced person make! 

Sometimes, being a mum is like water torture for the soul. (Have I already said that, feel like I have!) It’s like an inconsistently dripping tap. Someone randomly clicking a pen. In the end, even the strongest break. 

……..

Ha…I wrote this last week and then got distracted and didn’t post it. Funny thing, just had another night like this and have I learnt my lesson? Nope! Still just spent an hour trying to put him to bed. The battle of wills played out again and, fair enough, he’s eventually asleep but is anyone a winner? 

I just opened Pinterest and searched ‘toddler sleep’ and a million and one articles popped up, helpfully informing me the mistakes I’ve made that cause him not to take himself off to bed or advising me to let him ‘cry it out’. I can’t let him cry (at anytime) so that’s a no go and he’s 16 months…is he really going to take himself off to bed? ‘Oh, look at the time, I must be off now. Good night’. Haha! 

Why do I feel this ridiculous pressure all the time to have him asleep by a certain time, regardless of the situation! There’s always that little voice of the ‘they’ in my ear, questioning my every choice, but it’s me putting the pressure on. Those judging eyes are my own and I need to back the f$*k off!
So let’s just accept it…I’m going to dread bedtime, probably for a long time. Although, I will try to steal those few snuggly moments, the kisses he covers my face with as he finally calms down, the to-die-for way he tucks his teddies up in their bed and remember it’s not all bad. 

And anyway, it’s over…for now 😉

*Image courtesy of @fromthebottomofmypurse  via Pinterest*

…’deadlock’ is not a word you want to hear when your baby is in the car! 

Yesterday I thought I had a bad day. My phone wasn’t working, I couldn’t Google, I couldn’t blog, I couldn’t take a 1000 identical pictures of my boy doing cute stuff. 

Today, though, was an actual bad day. The mother of all bad days I’ve had so far as a mum. Yes, in comparison to some of the awful stuff other mums go through…this is minor, but for me…big shit! 

                   I locked my baby in my car. 

Obviously not on purpose and obviously everything that could help me was locked in there with him.  He was never in danger. The whole disaster was over and done with in less than 20 minutes, thanks to my awesome husband, a wonderful real-estate agent and the super fast service from AA. Apparently I’m not the only one either. The AA reported that over 1500 children and pets were accidentally locked in the car in 2015! 

Now I’d love to say that I was the picture of serenity and calm. Logically dealing with the situation with a rational mind. I would be lying! If becoming a mum has taught me anything, it’s that I’m not calm in a crisis! I felt sick. Within 30 seconds I was working out how to smash the window of my beautiful new car without hitting the baby!  Had I been on my own, I honestly don’t know if I would’ve held it together. 

That has totally freaked me out. What if one day, he’s in actual danger or is seriously poorly? Is the panic I felt a good thing…nature’s way of making sure I do something? Scientific American says that panic and panic attaks are all part of our ‘fight or flight’ response but can nature and instinct get us all the way through a critical situation? 

I’ve known lots of families who have gone through real trauma and they all say the same thing, ‘you just get through’, ‘you find the strength’. Where from though and how?! 

I hope that I would.

I hope I never have to find out. 

I’m certainly never leaving my keys in the car again! 

MK… ❤

*did you know, the AA offer an emergency service, with no charge, when children or pets are locked in the car. This applies to both members and non-members.*

Link to Scientific American article: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-we-panic/

Link to AA article: http://www.aa.co.nz/about/newsroom/media-releases/safety/worrying-increase-in-children-and-pets-locked-in-vehicles/

Image saved from: http://taidyeoriginal.blogspot.co.nz/2011/05/keep-calm-and-ugh.html?m=1