At a Mum and Baby pamper morning for Mother’s Day (hint, hint husband…Mother’s day THIS Sunday) today, while the kids enjoyed their floor picnic, my friend and I got to setting the world to rights. We ended up reflecting upon how we met and how nervous we felt at making the first move.
She referred to it (I’m sure she won’t mind me stealing her words) as ‘putting my big girl pants on’. She summed it up perfectly! You’ve got to be brave to make friends. You’ve got to put yourself ‘out there’ to make a connection. I know, as a teacher, I’ve been guilty in the past of telling kids who are struggling to make friends to ‘just join in’, ‘just say hi’ without actually considering about difficult that is!
It’s not just about being shy. I’m not shy at all but I still found making new friends post-baby ridiculously awkward and it took me way out of my comfort zone. I feel like it’s more to do with wanting to be accepted. About not being dismissed. At a truly raw moment in your life, you are just a girl, standing in front of a boy…asking him to love her…
Oh shit, sorry…wrong film 😉
What was I saying?
At a truly raw moment you are literally asking someone to judge you…do they think I’m worth getting to know? When you are already feeling vulnerable with your post-baby hang ups, hormones dragging you all over the place and judgements coming at you from all angles, you are exposing yourself even further!
The other side of this whole new world coin is that with every new friend you make, there will be those who don’t make it past Judge’s Houses. Maybe they didn’t turn out to be who you thought (can be devastating) or you just didn’t have as much in common (can just get awkward). This part of making friends requires just as much bravery to deal with, often more.
I’m lucky. Everyone I’ve met since having my little boy have been beautiful people. Maybe I don’t see them a lot for one reason or another, but every one has given me something, taught me something, shown me something in myself and supported me and my son. Hopefully, I’ve done the same for them!
So yes, making friends is hard…
but so worth it ❤