Life is full of choices. Cliche statement but there you go…its true!
Once upon a time, my biggest dilemma was where to go for dinner or where to book for a weekend away. My choices were so egocentric but now, the decisions I make will affect how a whole new person will grow up, think, behave, see the world. The scariest part…the affect of some of them won’t be evident for years!
So, recently, the Boy has learnt to throw tantrums! Full on, screaming, fist thumping, hand banging tantrums! Very rare but still…WTF! How do you deal with that? What choice am I going to make about that? You can’t reason with a 6 month old. You can talk them down. My choice…do I remain calm and wait for him to calm down? Do I pick him up and cuddle him and try to fix it? Either way, someone has an opinion about it. If I leave him, is that self-soothing? I f I comfort him, is that rewarding his behaviour?
My instinct is to comfort him ,so that’s what I do. My instinct is guiding my choices. What do you do when you instinct is conflicted…head vs heart? For instance, going back to work. I love my job and where I work and I love being a full time mum. How do you reconcile that? What is the right choice? Practically, going back to work makes sense. Some days I’m totally comfortable with going back and other days I’m filled with doubt: what if he is hurt, what if he is sad and wants me, what if he likes it better there than home!
He’s only 6 months old and I know my choices will get more complicated, more difficult to call and some choices I thought I had might be taken away from me. Luckily, I don’t have to make them on my own and I’m sure pretty soon my independent child will be putting his own 2 cents in! Until then, I guess I’ll just take each choice one at a time and hope it doesn’t cost him too much in therapy!