A little while ago, over our first real post baby ‘date night’, my husband asked me if it was easier looking after the Boy by myself. Probably was a little too emphatic in my response; ‘oh good god yes’, was more than likely not what he was looking for!
At the time, we were still finding our feet in our new roles as Mummy and Daddy. Trying to work out how to fit together all the ‘sides’ of us; ourselves, parents, a couple, friends…Some days, it felt like I was being pulled in so many different directions and that something or someone was being neglected. It was so much easier flying solo because I only had to concentrate on one person. I only had to please one person.
I had prepared myself for a lot of things while I was pregnant, but not this. There was a period of time, when my son was around 3 months old, where I would feel more stressed when he was there than when he wasn’t! My guilt about it that silently lurked was haunting.
Watching my boys today on their first Father’s Day, I had forgotten I ever felt like that! Now I can’t wait for him to come home and see the Little Man’s face light up when he sees his Daddy! I no longer feel the constant pull between my role as a mum and a wife. We both know what we expect of each other. For now, we have the unwritten rules of our lives sorted! We have dropped into a nice rhythm to our lives.
We have become a family.