… sometimes you need to get off the grid!

Sat in the hairdressers doing ‘old school f@#$ all’ for the first time in a very long time, I realise why I’ve been feeling so crappy this week and why my poor husband has been getting in the neck…I’m emotionally over it!

Lately, I’ve seen and heard everywhere the idea being a full time mum is the easy option; the ‘sometimes I wish I could give up work and be at stay at home mum and bake’ idea. Yes, I spend most of my week at play-dates, baby groups or taking walks down the beach. Sounds completely idyllic and I’m not complaining, I know how lucky I am, but this way of life has its hidden issues.

Sitting in the salon, I’m still rocking the chair as if I’m holding a sleeping baby! It’s completely passed me by that I’ve not eaten or even had a cup of tea! There is always someone who needs your attention and you are always ‘on’; its a 24/7 job. Then there’s the guilt: at the sinking feeling you get when you hear your baby wake from a nap and you have literally just sat down for 5 minutes peace; at the frustration you feel when the baby is asleep and now you have to clean up from dinner; at the annoyance you feel because you know you have it so good and are lucky to have the chance to stay at home!

It is emotionally draining and the wise woman knows that if you don’t look after yourself and acknowledge your emotions, everything else can quickly go downhill! So, wise woman…what am I supposed to do!

Write a blog and moan about it ūüėČ Turn the phone off and have a shower¬†with the door locked and without singing the ‘Wheels on the Bus! Spend a ridiculous amount of money on my¬†hair! Tell my¬†husband to make his own damn cup of tea (don’t worry, I won’t go that far)!

I’m going to be selfish once in a while, I’m going to remember to look after myself. I’m going to sit here and keep doing nothing while my lovely hairdresser gives me the best head massage and I’m not going to feel guilty about having an hour off !

MammaKnows…is off the grid!




…it’s all in the hidden messages!

So, we have recently become ‘Trekkies’ in our house (not a surprise to those of you who have seen us¬†play ‘Mage Wars’ for 10 hours)! The Man, The Boy and I all sat down to watch another episode and it was surprisingly¬†pretty deep. The plot basically centred around a question we all have (or will) ask ourselves at some point…’should I¬†have a baby’. It wasn’t so much this that got me thinking¬†because, obviously, my answer was yes. It was what one of the characters was wondering that has¬†been on my mind this week…

‘What can I teach my baby?’

What do we want to teach our children? Sure, I can tell him the rules and the way of the world but does me¬†telling him really make all that much impact? I know as a teacher, just telling a child something very rarely teaches them anything at all! It’s the hidden messages that stick.

For instance…we started to feed The Boy solids this week. Before we had even done anything, he took the spoon from me and stuck in straight in his mouth. We hadn’t explicitly shown him what to do, we hadn’t fed him yet. He had just been watching us all this time and had learnt what to do.¬†He is learning so much more from the little day-to-day things that we pay no attention to, than he will probably do from the things we actually directly try to teach him!

What else is he learning from us without us even being aware of it!

This has probably dawned on lots of parents before now! So…what does this mean?¬†Are we supposed to be ‘on’ the whole time; conscious of the choices we make and the hidden messages he gets from them? It’s a dead cert that he is going to see me be argumentative and stubborn…am I going to be damaging his development? He will see us happy and caring, fight and cry and we will have no idea what he is making of it all! Is it important that we show him every beautiful and ugly side of life and how to deal with it as he grows, or should we shield him as much as we can?

Anyway, do we really have control over what we teach him? Do we really have a choice in what he learns!

…I guess only time will tell